Love in the Battlefield
by Angibugg
Summary: Au fic set in the American Civil war. Had a weird deam so I am writing a fic about it.
1. Chapter 1

AU Skate fic set in the American Civil War. Yes I know I am butchering history.

**Chapter 1 **

The smell of musket fire and blood was heavy in the air. The sound of firing guns and yellingg were everywhere you went. Thun was going down and the sunset had an eerie red glow. It had gone like this for weeks, different places, sometimes different people, but always bloody and always hard. Today they were at Gettysburg, and as always it was brother against brother, North against the South.

James Ford was waiting for the light to disappear so he could sneak behind the enemy lines. It was a suicide mission, he would be shot dead if he were caught, but he had still volunteered for it. Unlike most of the other boys, James didn't have anyone waiting for him to come back home. He didn't have anyone writing him and waiting anxiously for his letter saying he was all right. He didn't have anyone who really cared if he lived or died.

They had got a uniform from a dead Yankee and he had put it on. It was a little to long in the legs and it had a few holes in it but it worked. President Lincon himself was supposed to be over there. The mission was simple, go over there, get what they were planning send it back and kill as many of them as he could, including the president if he was able to. He was the main reason they were doing this now.

"You ready James?" He was asked as the sun's light disappeared.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"You remember what to do?"

" 'Corse I do. It isn't complicated."

"True. Good luck kid. Give 'em hell."

He gave him an extra gun and sent him on his way. He practically crawled threw the grass, around the bodies that had fallen that day, trying not to get caught.

"Hey, there's something in the grass." he heard one man say as he got closer

"Its just a opossum or something."

He held still as he heard them talk and didnt move again. untill he heard them leave.When they did, he continued his way to their camp.

He got up and looked around. There were a few guards about 20 yards away and a few drunk and sleeping men by a few campfires. He looked a little farther, there were a bunch of men gathered around a tent. He grabbed his gun, keeping a tight hold on it, and made his way over to them. No one was looking at him, this was going to be easier than he thought.

He aimed it and fired, hitting on man in the back who fell dead. Everyone turned in shock and looked at him but the didn't have time to do anything else before he shot two more. They started shooting back at him. He saw the top hat and he smiled pulling the trigger, he saw it fly off and heard people yelling in panic. He started to run back. People were shooting at him like mad, he heard the bullets fly past his ears like angry flies. He was half way there when a blinding pain hit his leg, he had been snot, he kept on running, but he was to slow, another bullet went into his lower back. He fell to his knees and one hit his shoulder and another one grazed his head.

He lay on the ground in pain, crawling back, he wanted them to know that he had shot the president, no one thought he would be able to do it, but he had. He tried hard not to cry out in pain, if he made noise he would be shot again. He could still hear a few bullets landing by him with dull thuds on the ground, dirt flying everywhere.

He managed to get back, collapsing on the ground by the tents.

"OH MY GOD HE MADE IT!"

" Holey shit! get him to the medical station."

He felt someone lifting him up and move him. He was in pain, and he felt weak, blood pumping freely from his body.

"I did it." he said with a small groan and a smile.

"Are you serious?" the man that was helping carry him asked.

"Blew his damned hat right off of his head. Got three more of 'em too."

"Good job James. Good job."

He gave a small smile before passing out.


	2. Chapter 2

Just be glad it isn't the gladiator dream I had

**Chapter 2**

James woke up the next day. His body hurt like hell and he wanted to just go back to sleep so he wouldn't have to feel it any more. He opened his eyes and he saw a thin woman standing over him touching his wrist as she felt his pulse.

She had brown hair that was a little curly and was tied back with a white ribbon. She had green eyes and her nose and cheeks were dotted with light brown freckles. She looked at him when he moved and gave him a smile.

"Glad to see you're awake." She told him putting his hand down and taking a seat on the stool that was next to her. "How are you felling?"

"Like I got shot." He said with a tone of sarcasm that was usually in his voice.

"Well, if you're feeling like you only been shot once, you're doing pretty well then."

Damn. The girl was just as quick tongued as he was. He liked it.

"So what do I have that makes a pretty girl like you come check me out?"

"Don't flatter yourself. I am just a nurse."

"What's your name?" He asked her. He tried to sit up, but the pain in his stomach and back sent him down into the bed again.

" Names Catherine Austin, but a lot of people call me Katie."

"That name don't fit you." he said.

"Oh, why is that."

"You look like a Freckles."

" A Freckles Mr. Ford?"

"That's what I said aint it."

" I don't think that's even a name. Besides, I don't have freckles."

" Yes you do, right there on your nose and on your cheeks right under your pretty green eyes."

" I think the bullet that hit your head did more damage than we thought."

"How'd ya know my name?" He asked

"Its on the chart at the foot of your bed. Says James Ford. That's right isn't it?"

"Yeah that's right Freckles."

"Will you stop calling me that?"

"No."

" I hate men." she said under her breath.

James still heard it. "Well that's a coincidence, I do to."

She rolled her eyes. "Doctor Shepard will some by in a little bit to look you over." She told him as she left.  



	3. Chapter 3

I answer some questions. Why cant they do this on the show?!

**Chapter 3**

James had fallen back to sleep when the doctor came in. He had short brown hair and a little bit of a beard. He pulled the blanket over so he could get a better look at his leg. It had looked horrible when he had taken the bullet out. 

He could see red lines going down his leg, past the bandage that went around his thigh just above his knee. He pulled the bandage away to see the wound. It was purple and red and was still oozing blood through the stitches.

He touched it and James let out a yelp of pain.

"What the hell are ya doin?"

"How are you felling?"

"Just dandy." he said irritably.

"You know, you were shot four times and you show very little pain. Why is that?

James sighed. Before his daddy died when ten years ago when he was ten, he had gave him a good kick or punch when ever he had shown the slightest bit of pain. "Be a damn man son." he would yell at him.  
"Just the way I am." he replied.

He watched the doctor carefully. He noticed when he looked at nurse Freckles when she bent over.

"You sweet on her?" he asked him

"No, just checking to see what she is doing. She's too young for me anyhow" Of corse this wasn't entirely true. He did think she was beautiful

"That aint what it look like." he said shifting a little to get more comfortable which was hard to do while he was awake.

"How old is she?"

"She just turned 18 last week I think."

"How old are you?"

"27, "I'll be back in a little bit." he said as he got up and left.

"Katie."

"Yes." she said with out turning around as she finished changing the bandages on a mans head. She already knew it was Jack, she would know the doctors voice from anywhere.

"We need to amputate Fords leg."


	4. Chapter 4

I actualy looked up how they amputated limbs in this time piriod, it was grose.

**Chapter 4**

They gave James a bottle of whisky, it would dull the pain. He didn't question it anthill he saw them leave and get various medical supplies.

"Drink up, it's the only thing we have for pain." Katie told him

He gave her an odd look, he had already gulped down most of it.

"What'cha doin' with all that stuff Freckles?"

"The wound in your leg is infected." she told him. She didnt want to tell him he was going to loose his leg. She didn't even want to be here when it happened but she had to.

It was no secret what that meant. He had seen the soldiers who had been shot, most of them lost a limb or two. He didnt know why they kept on living.

"You're takin it off aint ya?"

She bit her lip and gave him a little nod. "It'll hurt, and it will be hard, but Im sure you can do it."

"Just let me die Freckles."

"Im a nurse, I can't do that."

"Sure you can. Just don't let him do it."

"I bet your girlfriend and your family and friends would hate to hear you say that."

"I don't got one."

She was surprised by this. Surely such a good looking man had a girlfriend or a wife back home.

"But surly your family..."

He broke her off. "I told you don't got one Freckles."

She looked at him sadly, she wanted to cry. Everyone needed somebody to love them.

Jack came back in with the knife. He put the tourniquet around his leg an inch or two from where the red lines stopped. He poured some alcohol on his leg and gave him a stick to bight down on. He tore the pant leg away and undid the bandage.

Katie held James' hand as she sat him up so she could sit behind him to hold him still and comfort him at the same time. She had done this many times before while she had worked her but this time she felt sick, just knowing what was going to happen.

"Can you feel this?" Jack asked touching his leg.

"Nope."

"Good." he said as he took the knife and began to cut into his leg.

Katie could feel him squeezing her hands. He was quiet at first until the muscle began to be ripped away. He let out an agonized cry. His back arching, but Katie held him down.

The screams only got worse as the operation went on. Katie held him whispering things to him like, "its gonna be okay." and "He's about half way done, your so brave." She wiped the sweat away from his face and touched his cheek.

He thrashed and cried a heart breaking scream when the bone started to be cut away. He squeezed her hands tight and bit down hard on the stick, trying not to move because that only made it hurt more. His breaths were fast and shallow. He tired to will himself to pass out but he couldn't manage it.

"Come on James, its so close to being over." she told him. His screams and obvious pain was breaking her heart. She wanted so desperately to make it all better. "The bone hurts the most, but he is already half way through it." 

James could hardly hear her, his mind clouded with pain. He only lost consciousness when the last bit of bone broke away, and then everything went dark  



	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"How did it go?" she asked Jack as she helped bandage the stump. James had whimpered whey they cleaned it but other that he had been out cold.

"He lost a lot of blood." He told her as he finished cleaning everything up "The tourniquet got loose when he moved just before he passed out and it took a little bit to make it stop."

"Do you think he's going to make it?" she asked

"He could, he's strong." he told her honestly " But its one of those things that we are just going to have to see how it goes."

Katie sighed. She hated waiting.

---

IT had been three days since the surgery and James still hadn't woke up. He had let out a few quiet moans and had shifted a little bit, but he had not regained consciousness.

Katie sat at his bedside every day as much as she could waiting for some sign that he was getting better. A new nurse had come in which gave her more time to sit with him. She talked to him, telling him how brave he was and did everything she knew how to help him.

He had started to run a fever on the morning after, he had a chill the night of. She went between blankets and wet towels, trying to regulate his temperature. She dressed and tended to his wounds as gently as she could, hoping she was doing a good enough job.

"Katie you should go take a rest, get some sleep. Im sure he is fine and will be the same when you get back." Jack told her. He had been watching her the last few days.

"I'm fine." She told him.

"Have you slept at all in the last three days."

"No, have you?" she asked

He didn't answer her question. " He will be fine if you take a rest."

"He hasn't been awake for three days Jack." she said looking down at the sleeping man. "You can't tell me that is a good thing."

"Its normal."

"Its also normal for people who have been shot and had a arm or leg amputated to not make it. He is sick Jack look at him. I cant leave him."

"I'll make sure he is okay."

"I can do that my self. I need to do it."

"Do you have feelings for him?"

She didn't answer, she didn't look at him. They both knew that she did that with in the days he had been there Katie had fallen in love.

"You shouldn't allow yourself to fall for a patient. Especially one that might..."

"Might what? Might not make it? That's why I cant leave him."

"I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Then let me do this"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Blue eyes opened but all they could see was darkness. At first James thought something was wrong with his eyes but he figured it was just night because he could still see outlines of men laying in beds. He shifted a little, trying to relieve the pain that he was in but he only managed to make more and let out a yelp.

Katie heard him and woke up from her doze. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Do I gotta answer that?" he asked wanting to go back to sleep.

"You've been out for three days, im gonna get you something to eat and drink, I'll be right back." she said getting up from the chair that she had been sitting in by his side.

He sighed and looked down at where most of the pain was coming from. He saw the flat blankets where his leg was supposed to be.

They had actually done it, I can't believe that they actually took it. Im laying here wit one leg, it wasn't a nightmare, it was real. He thought. He could remember the pain, but he had hoped he had just gone crazy or it was a very realistic nightmare.

He lay back, not wanting to look at it any more, plus trying to sit up made everything hurt more and it also made him dizzy.

Katie walked back in with a canteen of water and some bread. "Here." she said handing the cup to him.

James took it, it felt good, he hadn't realized how thirsty he was until right then. Half of it spilt down his chin and chest, it wasn't easy to drink laying down.

"Do you want me to get you some more?" she asked him taking the canteen and giving him the bread.

"No."

She sighed, getting back up to get him some more anyways. She knew he would take it sooner or later.

James looked at the bread. He didn't want it. He didn't want her damned water, he didn't want her help, He didn't want to see her and he didn't want her to see him. He wanted to lay here alone and die. That had been the plan in the first place wasn't it? Going on a suicide mission meant you died, not lay in a bed in pain looking pathetic, unable to move.

"You need to eat." Katie told him putting the water on the table next to him.

"I don't want to."

"You need to, you went for three days with out anything you are going to eat."

"You going to make me?"

"If I have to."

He sighed and tried to sit up again but gave it up quickly. "Can't I go back to sleep?"

"Yes, when you eat."

"Wont you just ignore me?"  
"I can't."

"You can't."

"Im a nurse, I can't."

"I don't think its just because you're a nurse Freckles."

"Just shut up and eat." she said shoving a piece of bread in his mouth. 


	7. Chapter 7

I thought the gladiator dream was weird, I had one last night about mushrooms and the mofia.

sorry its kinda short.

**Chapter 7**

James winced as they changed the bandages on what was left of his leg. Some of them were stuck to his skin and pulled it off as they were pulled it away. He had been sleeping when he started. He didn't want to look at the stump. It disgusted him. He wasn't a squeamish man, but it was proof that he was weak and defenseless and he loathed it.

"There are better ways to wake a man up Freckles." He said gruffly

"Sorry, I wanted to see if I couldn't wake you."

"Are you going to let me sleep today?"

"Are you going to eat today?" Katie asked.

"Why should I?" He asked.

Why should he? For her, she knew he didn't think he had anything to live for, but she needed him to live for her. She had seen men give up and it was always hard, but she would not let him. She refused to let him die. Of corse she did not say any of this what she did say was.

"Because I will force you to if you don't do it your self."

"Oh really."

"Yes."

"Are you like this with everyone or just me?"

"Like what?"

He looked at her hand which was on his. She quickly pulled it away and changed the bandage on his arm, quickly pulling the tape away.

"Geez, What was that for?"

"I don't know what you mean." She said replacing the old with the new. "Your head is looking better."

"Good, one less bandage for you to rip off. "

"Did you hit your head or something? Because Im still sure something is wrong with it." She said looking at the small scar that it had left.

She saw him move in the bed and close his eyes, ready to go back to the sleep she had disrupted.

"Hey, no sleep." She said shaking him.

"Why the hell not?" he asked a little angry.

"Because you haven't eaten anything "

"So."

"Im not letting you sleep until you do."

James sighed heavily. "Guess I won't sleep."

Kate looked at him unbelieving that her plan had just backfired but she wasn't going to give up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8.**

James watched her get up and walk away and found himself wondering what was on her mind. He knew she was going to come back and try to make him eat, but he simply wasn't going to.

He wasn't sure why he was attracted to Katie, she wasn't his usual type. Sure she was pretty, but that wasn't all of what attracted him to her. She actually seemed to care about him. She tried to hide it, but they both knew she did.

It was something he couldn't figure out. Why on earth would she care about a man she hardly knew and was practically useless? Did she just act like she cared because she felt sorry for him or was it something real? 

He was sure it was just her feeling sorry for him. He really didn't see how she could feel anything for him. He was a man who had really no future, and a past that left him lonely.

Hell, he wasn't even able to go behind enemy lines and die, he had fail at that, that is why he was laying here in pain unable to do the simplest things like up by himself. And she wouldn't let him die.

As soon as he was sure that Katie was gone, James fell back to sleep hopping that he would not be rudely waken up again this time.

-----------------------

Katie didn't know why she cared so much for James. He was no different than any other of the men here. But then again maby he wasn't. He didn't have anybody waiting for him to come back home.

Was what she was feeling for him pity or was it something else?

Sure she felt sorry for him, shoe could only imagine what he was going through. She knew things weren't going to be easy, and she was glad it wasn't her.

On the other hand, she wanted to do everything she possibly could to make things better for him. She hated knowing he was in pain and she hated that he wanted to die. She wasn't going to let him do that.

She got an apple and went back to his bed where she saw him sleeping. She tapped his face. "N0 sleeping." she said

He opened his eyes and turned his head. "No food."

"You are going to eat."

He didn't reply, he was trying to ignore her enough to go back to sleep.

She began to peel the apple and then cut it.

"Ouch!"

James turned his head. "You O-"

The last part of his sentence was ended when she forced a slice in his mouth wit a smile.

"Got ya"

He ate the piece grudgingly. "I ate, can I go to sleep now?" he asked

"Eat the whole thing and I'll leave you alone."

He sighed. She was not going to give in and he couldn't keep his eyes open much longer. He took the apple from her.

"This is cruel and unusual punishment you know."

"You will thank me."

"Doubt it." he said as he ate another piece.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

It had been a week since James had been brought in. Most of his wounds were healed, leaving only scars behind. He and Katie had kept the eat for sleep trade for four more days. She had fond some way or other to make sure he ate something at least three times a day. They weren't meals, just things she could easily shove in his mouth when ever he opened it to talk to her.

Eventually he stopped talking to her when she came by. She missed his voice and his witty comments that he always was able to make. She had to find another way to make him eat.  
-------------------

One day a bunch o men came in, they appeared to be looking for someone.

"Hello, can I help you?" Katie asked them.

"We're looking for a James Ford, rumor is that he is here."

She didn't like they way they looked. "I'll have to check. Can I ask what for?"

"Under arrest for attempting to assassinate the president."

She felt like the bottom of her stomach dropped. "Just a second let me check." She left for a little bit, and looked at James who was asleep. Had he really done what they said?

"No, he isn't here, sorry."

"Thank you for your time ma'am."

When they left Katie ran to his bed and woke him up. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked

He grumbled at being woke again. "What ya talkin' about?"

"You tried to kill the president."

"I didn't try I did. Blew his hat right off his head."

Should she tell him that he hadn't really killed him, or would that make him more depressed ?

"A bunch of men just came in looking for you."

"When?"

"While you were sleeping. Do you know how much trouble you are going t o be in if they find you?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I do. I lied to them, if they find out I lied we are both going to be in so much trouble."

"The only trouble you're gonna get in Freckles is because you care about me."

"Don't say that."

"Its true."

"Its not."  
"I thought you didn't like men."

"I like nice men."

"So why do you like me."

"Why do you make things so hard?"

"It's what I do." 


	10. Chapter 10

I have decided to wright 5 or 6 more chapters, then I will start on a sequel

**Chapter 10**

A few days after the men came looking for him, James started to sit up by him self which was a bit of a boost to his pride. He would only sit up for a few minutes at a time before it made him tired but at least it was a start.

Katie no longer had to bribe and trick him into eating. She had even got him to shave and she couldn't even help but notice that he had a really nice face. When he smiled she saw his dimples and it made her try to get him to even harder so she could see them again.

"What's with the change." She asked while giving him lunch.

"I need to get out of here."

"They cant do anything until your better and out of here."

"We both know that they are going to come back, and I gotta be long gone by then."

"When you go Im going to come with you."

"No you aint. Im not gettin' you in trouble too."

"I don't care."

"You seemed to care when they came by."

"I was worried about you."

"Don't"

"Don't what?"

"Don't you care about me."

"I love you."

"No you don't"

"Don't tell me what I feel."

"What ever you feel Freckles aint love."

"If you want to get out of here so bad your gonna need my help, like it or not."

"Why's that?"

"You haven't been able to get out of bed, and when you do there is the matter of walking. And Im sorry to tell you I don't think you're going to do it with out someone there to help."

"Why dose that someone have to be you?"

"Would you rather it be Jack?"

She was right on that one, he really didn't care to much for the doc.

"Not really."

"Exactly." she said leaning over and kissing his cheek.

"In a few days lets try getting you up ." she said and left.

James watched her go and touched where she had just kissed him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

It was late and most of the patients were sleeping, that's why he had chosen now to talk to her. He had gone home for a little bit and by the time he had gotten there he had been bombarded by rumors, dirty looks and praise. He hadn't known what it was all about till an old woman came up to him and said. "Glad you finally took the right side of the war." He wasn't sure what she was talking about, last time he checked he was neutral. When she told him about James, he was shocked.

"Katie, do you know what he did?" Jack asked.

"Yes, Jack, I know."

"We cant keep him here. This is supposed to be a neutral hospital, it cant be if he is here."

"It can't be if you kick him out."

"Babe, are you seriously standing up for him?"

"Yes, I am." she said. "And Jack, don't call me babe, You have a wife at home and last time I checked, I wasn't her."

"Come on Katie, don't be so cold." He tried to kiss her but she pushed him away.

"Go to bed Jack." she said. She could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Im fine Katie."

"You are drunk."

"What's your problem?"

"You. You are my problem." she said and walked away.

James lay awake, unable to sleep because he heard voices. He heard Jack talking. There really wasn't much hope for him staying here if the Doc. didn't want him to stay. He had heard them argue. He hated her standing up for him. He knew he had to leave as soon as he could, and he couldn't bring her with him.

Katie took the stitches out of his leg, they were the last ones to come out. "Wanna try getting out of bed today?" she asked him.

"Sure Freckles." he said sitting up.

"I'll be right back." She said leaving and quickly coming back wit a crutch. "Just one till you can balance better."

"That makes a hell of a lot of sense." he said sarcastically.

"I hold on to you on the other side to make sure you don't fall." She explained.

"I could get used to that."

She rolled her eyes and helped him out of bed.

He held on to the crutch and she held on to him. It felt weird to be up. He didn't know how else to explain it but weird. He hadn't realized how week he had gotten until then. As soon as he was up he was trying his hardest not to fall over.

"You okay?" she asked him, she could feel how unsteady he was and tightened her grip around him.

"Yup, Im fine."

"Do you want to try walking to the chair."

"Sure." he said. Might as well se how hard this was really going to be.

"Im going to move, then move the crutch and you will go." She said. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

They took a step and James felt like he was going to fall, but Katie kept a good grip on him. "You okay?"

"This aint gonna be as easy as I thought it was going to be is it?"

"No."

He sighed and they took another step. The got over to the chair in about ten more steps and he sat down.

"You did really good." she said with a smile.

He was exhausted and didn't really care much what she said even if she said he had just saved the world. She helped him back into bed.

"I'll bring you dinner in about an hour. You should rest." she said. "We'll try again tomorrow."

He sighed and closed his eyes quickly falling asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Finished so here is the next chap

**Chapter 12**

It was late and James lay awake. A nurse he hadn't seen before had put the candles out and it was now dark. He could hear the person next to him snoring. He hadn't seen the man wake up since he had been here and he found him self wondering what had happened to him. Half of his face was bandaged and he doubted that the man would ever wake up.

When he was sure no one was around he sat up and reached out for the crutch that was next to the chair. He managed to get himself out of bed. He held onto the bed and leaned on the crutch. He was going to get out of here tonight. He slowly made his way around to the foot of the bed and half way to the bed of the snoring man when he began to loose his balance. He took another step then he fell. He hit his head and lay unconscious on the floor.

"James?"

He heard a voice calling his name. He opened his eyes to see Freckles kneeling over him with a worried look on her face.

"Can you hear me?"

"Yeah." he said wishing she would be quiet, his head was throbbing.

"What were you doing?" she asked helping him up and back into bed.

He didn't answer her.

"You shouldn't be up by yourself."

He wondered how long he had been laying there before she had found him and he had come around.

"You could have killed yourself." she went on, but he wasn't paying attention.

"You're bleeding."

"What?"

She was trying to move his hair so she could see where it was coming from.

"Stop moving."

"Im fine."

"Just let me see it."

She managed to push his hair away from the side of his head where the blond strands had turned dark red. Luckily it wasn't to bad. She started to clean it which made James give a hiss in pain.

"Its what you get for being such a stupid, stubborn man."

"Leave me alone."

"You know im not going to do that."

"You should."

"And why is that?"

"Because you want someone to love you back and make you happy, and it aint me."

"It could be."

"No it couldn't. Stop caring if you know what's best for you."

"I don't think that is for you to decide."

"Just warning you."

"Thanks but I don't need the warning. I can be just as stupid and stubborn as you can, so give it up."


	13. Chapter 13

**I know its short, there are 2 chapters left.**

**Chapter 13**

**  
**

Katie kept her word. She was just as stubborn and she wasn't going to leave him alone as long as she could help it.

Everyday she helped him out of bed and walk around until he was finally able to walk with just a pair of crutches about a week and a half from when she had first gotten him up. She followed him closely behind incase he were to ever need help. She knew he would never admit it but she was there anyways.

"Why do you care?"

"Because some one has to."

"I don't need you caring."What he really meant was stop caring so I don't hurt you but it was James and it did not com out like that.

"To bad" she said. " I am what you got."

"Not for long Freckles. Soon as I can walk, I'm outta here."

"You'll miss me you know."

"Really now?"

"When you are alone you'll wake up and wonder where I am."

"You think so."

"I know you love me."

"I think you are imagining things." Damn was he really that obvious?

"You can pretend you don't, but I know."

"I don't need to pretend."

"Sure you don't. Just remember when you are lonely and sitting in some bar getting drunk that you had someone who loved you and would do anything for you, That she loved you and wanted the best for you when all you wanted to do was just give up on life and die, but you left her here, you left the only person who loved you enough to make you want to live, who forced you to eat and tried her best to make everything good for you. Remember that your loneliness is all your fault. Don't you ever forget that when you leave."

It was no secret she was angry at him. She was angry at him for leaving, for not saying he loved her, for being such a stupid man. She hated him for everything. But most of all she hated him for making her love him.

"Sure I will sassafras. But how do you know that as soon as I get out of here I'm not going to find a girl just like you when I get where ever I' going?

"Because there is no other girl just like me" She said and she left.

He didn't say another word. There was so much he should say but he didn't. He just watched her walk away angry.All he could think was you don't know how right you are.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**  
**

They hadn't talked to each other since their fight. She gave him food, helped him get up and did her other nursing duties in absolute silence.

She didn't sit by his bed anymore, she didn't look for his smile or let herself feel butterflies in her stomach when he looked at her.

James did nothing to change it. He didn't talk to her, he didn't smile, he tried hard not to look at her. He knew he should try to patch things up before he left, but his pride kept getting in the way. He only had a day to make thing right.

He and the doc had talked and he was going to leave tomorrow morning when she was gone on an errand. Neither of them wanted him to be here, and he was walking on his own. He had been here for about a month, and Jack was sure he would be alright at home.

James was glad he was letting him go. He needed to get away. He wouldn't go back to his house, he was still worried that he would be caught. He would go somewhere far away, where he would be free and she wouldn't follw.

He watched her walk away again, knowing it was going to be the last time he saw her. He knew he should tell her she was right. That he would miss her, that he would blame him self when he was lonely because it was his own fault. He knew there wouldn't be another girl, because there was no other girl like her.

The sun set and everyone went to sleep but James. He hadn't said it. He hadn't done what he had needed to, but ir was rare that he ever did.

"Are you ready to go?" Jack asked him the next morning.

"You got that right."

"I got a coach coming by in a few minuets."

"Thank you." He said.

Jack turned to walk away.

"Hey, can I get a pen and some paper?"

"Yeah, there is some in the drawer on the bedside table."

He opened the drawer and pulled them out. He wrote a note and then carefully folded it when the ink was dry.

"It's here." Jack called.

James put the note on his pillow. He grabbed his crutches and walked out


	15. Chapter 15

Part 2 is up. Its called Phantom pains

_**Chapter 15. **_

_Freckles,_

_You are reading this, so that means I am already gone._

_You were right. I should have said it before but I didn't. You were right. Im going to miss you, and I know its my own fault. Im sorry. I do love you. I know you know that I do, but I never actually told you that._

_I know you wanted to come, but lets face it, we both know it wouldn't have worked like we wanted it too. Im not going to tell you where I am headed, because I don't even know._

_I love you Katie, and Im sorry I didn't tell you that before._

_James Ford_

Katie folded the letter carefully, making sure each crease was the same as when he had folded it and she cried. She had been so stupid.

"It'll be okay Katie." Jack told her.

She glared at him, he had sent her away while James had left.

"I hate you." She said as she got up and walked out.

He didn't know what to say to her. He just watched as she left, he knew where she was going. She had gone to find James.

**The end**


End file.
